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Says Robin: “Every time I asked if he was straight or gay or what, he said the whole experience was teaching him not to ask questions anymore.
I thought that was adorable, and sensible, and kind of romantic.” Luke was demonstrative in public and Robin discovered he was telling people he was dating a guy.
Clandestine relationships or regular hookups with one straight and one gay/bi guy sometimes exist in a mutual state of insecurity and fear.
The straight guy is worried his “secret” will be uncovered while the gay or bi guy fears he’s being used or unworthy of a relationship in public view.
But straight men with sleeping with other men isn’t just a horny trope or a filthy secret – men willing to be open about their sexuality and commitment to identifying as straight do exist.
And, coincidentally, Robin again found himself entangled with one.“Luke was a few months out of an eight-year relationship – his only – with a girl,” says Robin.
But if you’re in a down-low relationship with a straight guy, you can find yourself going backwards.
James continues: “When we spent time together, generally indoors, everything was happy.
Does it mean their lovers are any less available to them because they won’t pick a side?
"He always said he wasn’t gay, but he didn’t believe in bisexuality, either, and he said it so many times over the years."Although gay pornography sells the idea that fun with your “straight mate” is the ultimate fantasy, the reality can be very different.
Simon was 17 when his hitherto straight best friend made a move on him.
“I’d visit, listen to him, we’d cuddle, and usually have sex.
Before long, we were hanging out three nights a week, and on weekends we’d go for long walks and nice dinners and be out – ‘out out’ – in public.” On the surface of it, then, a gay relationship – but Luke didn’t see it that way.