One of the first times we went out together in public some guy made aggressive eye contact with Parker when he went to grab my hand. Is it worth all this effort to figure out who I am and what I care about?And how do you tell your mom that your boyfriend actually has a female name on Facebook?” And my experiences are negligible compared to what people who are visibly queer go through.I retain immense straight privilege, since I read as a cisgender straight woman when I’m not with my boyfriend.People use the word “faggot” around me and don’t understand why I could possibly not be okay with that.They give me a hard time for not being easy going when I call them out for using a word that, even in its I’m ashamed that I waited for it to be personal to begin standing up against discrimination. For one, we’re stupidly in love and each other’s best friends and make each other happier than we thought possible, but also, our community is mostly supportive.It took me three months to tell my mom about the best person to ever happen to me, and my mom is the loveliest, most understanding person in the world.
Furthermore, we’re both white, which means we only have to deal with one layer of discrimination and not more.
When your boyfriend is gone too long when he goes to the bathroom, you immediately wonder if he’s facing harassment for using the women’s restroom (since he doesn’t completely pass as female) or for using the men’s restroom (since he doesn’t completely pass as male.) You’ll see him being denied service at a bar, and when you go up to check on him, the bartender immediately takes your order.
You feel the fight rising from your stomach but your boyfriend says no, it’s not that big of a deal, it’s happened to him hundreds of times.
And then he bought his first chest binder and learned that the term for the gut-wrenching anxiety he felt when looking in the mirror was called gender dysphoria.
By March of my senior year, while he was picking out Goodwill sport coats and I a graduation dress, I had a full-blown crush and the sudden realization that I was about to miss my chance.