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One of these lifers works among us at Gothamist—publisher Jake Dobkin grew up in Park Slope and currently resides in Brooklyn Heights. White perhaps put it best: "On any person who desires such queer prizes, New York will bestow the gift of loneliness and the gift of privacy.He is now fielding questions—ask him anything by sending an email here, but be advised that Dobkin is "not sure you guys will be able to handle my realness." We can keep you anonymous if you prefer; just let us know what neighborhood you live in. I have met interesting, attractive, not insane people but they all seem to be flakes. Give up and accept my fate as someone who ogles hot New Yorkers on the subway but goes home alone? A Native New Yorker replies: Dear Subway Ogler, Many newcomers find themselves loveless or friendless for a time when they first arrive in New York, but they rarely stay that way long. It can destroy an individual, or it can fulfill him, depending a good deal on luck.This week's question comes from a lonely Brooklyn resident: I moved to Fort Greene about six months ago. No one should come to New York to live unless he is willing to be lucky." So the question, really, is this: how do you get lucky in New York? You say you're looking for "Interesting, attractive, not insane people." Take it from a native: in 37 years I have never met a person in this city that embodied all three of these qualities at once.Surely I didn't move to Brooklyn to find a significant other, but it would be nice. Perhaps this is possible in a simpler town—Minneapolis, maybe, or Vancouver.

“Men have to be the one to pick the place and create a fun dynamic of getting her excited and feeling comfortable.“Meanwhile, all my single guy friends love their freedom and tell me to keep dating, too.” Like Garofola, he finds the city’s surplus of datable women to be a con — not a pro — when it comes to finding a potential mate.“There’s temptation everywhere,” says Borich, who finds most of his dates through Bumble, Happn and Plenty Of Fish.“A lot of my married friends tell me it’s horrible being tied down, and that women will just divorce you and take half,” says Eric Borich, a 32-year-old portfolio manager at Oxford Property Group.Borich cites pressure to keep dating around so that his married friends can live vicariously through his enviable lifestyle.

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